Last night was exciting - my friends and I witnessed the Obama victory at a fantastic neighborhood bar in Oakland. We cheered his excellent acceptance speech, and our hearts were full with images of joy being broadcast from all over the world. I called my mom, who campaigned for Obama, outside the bar and spoke to her while fireworks went off in the streets.
During these thrilling moment, votes were being counted all over California. As Obama acknowledged the existence of his queer supporters in his acceptance speech, Californians were voting into our constitution a ban on the civil liberties of gay people. By the end of Obama's speech, I had a queasy feeling of: we've been here before. His beautiful message - one of hope and redemption and healing - is empty if we do not hold him to it for ALL of our citizens.
On a personal note, Michael and I have long struggled with the history of marriage as an institution. We questions its history of sexism and its emphasis on reproduction. We wonder why the state should even be involved in people's relationships in the first place, outside of the logistics of next-of-kin and that sort of thing. We believe in the importance of the ceremony, but question the relevance of insurance premiums or tax breaks. That being said, the reality is that we live in a culture where marriage - in that form - IS a part of our society. And if you, like us, are concerned with the values of marriage in this culture, than you should be very concerned about barring queer access to it.
Because queers can update this custom and infuse it with gender equality that will free men, women, and the rest of us from all of our historical attachments. We (along with the young people in my generation) can transform marriage, can disentangle it from its dark past and make it about love and connection and faith.
Yes, we can.
Today is a historic day for America, but it's also a day where the struggle for civil rights is still raging for many of her citizens (and non-citizens). It is a day where a 58-year-old man punched an elderly couple with "No on 8" street signs in their yard. The election may be over, but yes, you can.
Let's hold Obama and ourselves accountable post-election to his message and the feelings it stirred in us. As he said last night,
"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other."
This marriage issue is one in a long line of inequities we face as a state, a nation, a world. Please write to your congresspeople if you live in California, and write to ours if you don't. Please feel my outrage, my frustration, my sadness. I ask you to hold this struggle in your hearts today even in the midst of your celebration. Because the curtain cannot drop on any of us if all of us are to rise. That's what Obama has made us remember, and that's what I urge us all - including the man himself - to never forget. We're the ones who have to remind him and all of our politicians that this country belongs to all of us. We can effect change, we can work from a place of humanity and love. We can do it together. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.
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